Teardrops
8/15/09
City streets, wet feet
one little raindrop admits defeat.
Surrounded by many little brothers and sisters,
yet alone to fall where it may.
Storm of millions, lonely opinions
one little raindrop knows only lifeless minions.
A bent fedora, a creased lapel
one little raindrop: destined, he fell.
The pleat of a pant, the seam of a loafer
one little raindrop: follow he can’t.
Down the sidewalk, a busy corner
one little raindrop noticing no one talk.
Hustle and bustle, pushing and shoving
one little raindrop can’t find loving.
Frequent honking and violent screeching,
one little raindrop wishes for teaching.
Ignore your king, never anointed
one little raindrop: surprised, disappointed
Uninspired, of fool he tired
one little teardrop.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Alpine Spring
For someone close to my heart.
Alpine Spring
6-25-10
White flowers bloom between mineral graves;
The spring brings the welcome scent again,
Pushing through the snow, stubborn and determined,
The edelweiss smiles at the forgotten sun.
The sun subtly reminds the grass to awaken,
Widening the eyes of cattle with a fresh meal;
As he waits to find the calling horizon,
He pinches the tender skin of the sleeping shepherd.
Where have you been, oh sun, to revive us?
Give us your warmth to grow and thrive.
Give us our legs, our strength to carry us.
And give us our shepherd, oh sun, to lead us.
The sunkissed shepherd covers his head,
Shading his eyes and cooling his raspberry face.
With staff in hand and a deep inhale of melting alpine frost,
His potent whistle challenges the commencing cowbells.
Two-toed two-toned beasts stretch and recoil,
Sighing with the crow of the blue and yellow rooster.
Anxious to find their safe and healthy home,
They find patience within the sun-given brooks.
Moist noses investigate the fossilized grass
Under the blooming seeds that catch themselves
Between heavy plodding hooves pulling
The great spotted masses up toward the sun.
Mud and stone and slush and snow
Steal the sweet air from shallow gasping lungs;
One after another, the ringing train
Waddles onward with hopes of resolution.
Anxious silence settles among the halted calves,
Nudging the great meadow gates, listening
For their shepherd's beckon amidst the fog
As the sun melts through the thick air.
Welcomed home with dissipating stratus,
The shepherd clicks the gate closed after his herd.
With a pitcher of fresh milk to garnish the porch table,
The edelweiss smiles at the setting sun.
Alpine Spring
6-25-10
White flowers bloom between mineral graves;
The spring brings the welcome scent again,
Pushing through the snow, stubborn and determined,
The edelweiss smiles at the forgotten sun.
The sun subtly reminds the grass to awaken,
Widening the eyes of cattle with a fresh meal;
As he waits to find the calling horizon,
He pinches the tender skin of the sleeping shepherd.
Where have you been, oh sun, to revive us?
Give us your warmth to grow and thrive.
Give us our legs, our strength to carry us.
And give us our shepherd, oh sun, to lead us.
The sunkissed shepherd covers his head,
Shading his eyes and cooling his raspberry face.
With staff in hand and a deep inhale of melting alpine frost,
His potent whistle challenges the commencing cowbells.
Two-toed two-toned beasts stretch and recoil,
Sighing with the crow of the blue and yellow rooster.
Anxious to find their safe and healthy home,
They find patience within the sun-given brooks.
Moist noses investigate the fossilized grass
Under the blooming seeds that catch themselves
Between heavy plodding hooves pulling
The great spotted masses up toward the sun.
Mud and stone and slush and snow
Steal the sweet air from shallow gasping lungs;
One after another, the ringing train
Waddles onward with hopes of resolution.
Anxious silence settles among the halted calves,
Nudging the great meadow gates, listening
For their shepherd's beckon amidst the fog
As the sun melts through the thick air.
Welcomed home with dissipating stratus,
The shepherd clicks the gate closed after his herd.
With a pitcher of fresh milk to garnish the porch table,
The edelweiss smiles at the setting sun.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Ode to the Infantry
Ode to the Infantry 4-15-10
Step
Step
Left, Right, Left
Square shoulders
Atop
Corrupted vertebrae
Stacked rigid
One
Then the next
Extending upward
Supporting a pockmarked jawbone.
Solid core
Flexed
Under the thick heat
Misshapen dirty-green protection.
Steel zippers
Grind
Hardened brown calluses
Protrude from unbroken joints.
Black polished boots
Laced
With precision
Send impulses
Warning with each contact.
Dirt of war
Lodged
Under over-scrubbed fingernails.
Dust of bombs
Clung
To useless nose hairs.
Inhale
Memories.
Felt helmet
Pressing
Down on a stern brow
Shades thinning blue irises
Lacking electricity,
Searching;
His jawbone clenched and pockmarked,
Home.
Step
Step
Left, Right, Left
Square shoulders
Atop
Corrupted vertebrae
Stacked rigid
One
Then the next
Extending upward
Supporting a pockmarked jawbone.
Solid core
Flexed
Under the thick heat
Misshapen dirty-green protection.
Steel zippers
Grind
Hardened brown calluses
Protrude from unbroken joints.
Black polished boots
Laced
With precision
Send impulses
Warning with each contact.
Dirt of war
Lodged
Under over-scrubbed fingernails.
Dust of bombs
Clung
To useless nose hairs.
Inhale
Memories.
Felt helmet
Pressing
Down on a stern brow
Shades thinning blue irises
Lacking electricity,
Searching;
His jawbone clenched and pockmarked,
Home.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Fingers
Fingers 2/27/10
Elegant fingers
Working at the black keys
Pressing and running and jumping
Spelling out the words
Making their owner proud
Slower fingers
Tiring with repetition
Growing and bending and stretching
Scurrying to keep up
Persevering through the pages
Paused fingers
As a thought averted their determination
A glowing past now returning
An answer without an answer
A lover without a lover
Shivering fingers
Proud and scared
Trembling and grasping
But with what strength?
Again they fail
Blue fingers
Slaves to the beckoning master
Unable to fight back
Their dismal color is spreading
Blue hands, blue wrists
Stiff
Elegant fingers
Working at the black keys
Pressing and running and jumping
Spelling out the words
Making their owner proud
Slower fingers
Tiring with repetition
Growing and bending and stretching
Scurrying to keep up
Persevering through the pages
Paused fingers
As a thought averted their determination
A glowing past now returning
An answer without an answer
A lover without a lover
Shivering fingers
Proud and scared
Trembling and grasping
But with what strength?
Again they fail
Blue fingers
Slaves to the beckoning master
Unable to fight back
Their dismal color is spreading
Blue hands, blue wrists
Stiff
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Valentine's Day
I wrote this as a Valentine's Day present. It doesn't really have a name.
2/10/10
A soft fleeting glance
First inquisitive yet staid,
Knows nothing but a face
And a confident stance.
My lack of expectations
Bound curiosity for intention.
Hazel eyes that looking elsewhere
Drew a new exotic elation.
With the gentle nudge of a passing shoulder
I feel the sweet pressure of skin-
On my skin-
Amounts to simply not enough.
The passing of time
Inching closer
Brings entangled emotion;
Entangled limbs.
My perfumed wrists,
Destined to press that sweet scent
Into your powerful back
To the beat of the rain on my window.
The gold crimson sky,
Now a cobalt-amethyst gem,
Ends the night
And calls the cerulean morning.
Again we open our eyes
Against the warnings of the penetrating light
To look for the one we want
To see
With fingers interlaced,
There’s no time to waste.
What we have is just beginning,
And still there’s more to come
So let’s find out together.
2/10/10
A soft fleeting glance
First inquisitive yet staid,
Knows nothing but a face
And a confident stance.
My lack of expectations
Bound curiosity for intention.
Hazel eyes that looking elsewhere
Drew a new exotic elation.
With the gentle nudge of a passing shoulder
I feel the sweet pressure of skin-
On my skin-
Amounts to simply not enough.
The passing of time
Inching closer
Brings entangled emotion;
Entangled limbs.
My perfumed wrists,
Destined to press that sweet scent
Into your powerful back
To the beat of the rain on my window.
The gold crimson sky,
Now a cobalt-amethyst gem,
Ends the night
And calls the cerulean morning.
Again we open our eyes
Against the warnings of the penetrating light
To look for the one we want
To see
With fingers interlaced,
There’s no time to waste.
What we have is just beginning,
And still there’s more to come
So let’s find out together.
Puddles
Puddles 1/20/10
Shivering
Sitting
On the cold sill of my window
Puddles are growing
The air is growing cold
Children are splashing
Parents are worrying
The sound of the season
Watching
Waiting
Under my blanket inside
Clouds are hovering
Dreams are hovering low
Ready to wash away
But the puddles are here to stay
The lingering season
Perfume on my wrists
To the skin of your back
Back to the beginning.
Pages of worry
Pages of doubt
Pages of us
Darkness takes its toll
To stop the helpless sun
I am not who’s winning.
Minutes of silence
Minutes of deceit
Minutes of listening
Drizzling
Drowning
In the puddles of my own
The wind is stirring
Naïveté is stirring me
Eyes are fixed
We are wandering
The enigma of our season
Shivering
Sitting
On the cold sill of my window
Puddles are growing
The air is growing cold
Children are splashing
Parents are worrying
The sound of the season
Watching
Waiting
Under my blanket inside
Clouds are hovering
Dreams are hovering low
Ready to wash away
But the puddles are here to stay
The lingering season
Perfume on my wrists
To the skin of your back
Back to the beginning.
Pages of worry
Pages of doubt
Pages of us
Darkness takes its toll
To stop the helpless sun
I am not who’s winning.
Minutes of silence
Minutes of deceit
Minutes of listening
Drizzling
Drowning
In the puddles of my own
The wind is stirring
Naïveté is stirring me
Eyes are fixed
We are wandering
The enigma of our season
Face
Face 2/7/09
Face
To face
Watch yourself
Watch your own face
Bleed
Black
Black
Rain
Dismal suffocation
Dignity falls from your eyes
Falling
Petals
Petals
Of the magnolia
Break off slowly
Drifting away from comfort
Suspicious
Contact
Contact
Unrequested
Given not taken
Forced not pleaded
Justify
Salvation
Salvation
Internally
Secrets sewn forever
Love again is true
Never
Alone
Alone
Face
To face
Watch yourself
Watch your own face
Bleed
Black
Black
Rain
Dismal suffocation
Dignity falls from your eyes
Falling
Petals
Petals
Of the magnolia
Break off slowly
Drifting away from comfort
Suspicious
Contact
Contact
Unrequested
Given not taken
Forced not pleaded
Justify
Salvation
Salvation
Internally
Secrets sewn forever
Love again is true
Never
Alone
Alone
Take Me Away
One of my favorite poems. Inspired by running away, but not wanting to be alone.
Take Me Away 5/15/08
Take me away
Under a moonless night sky
I will follow your touch through depths of dark
Relentless across my fallen pride.
Carry me away
On a little leaf boat
In tedious tiny circles
Around your sandcastle moat.
Pull me away
From the monotonous grasp
Of the strong, shallow forest
Who begs me to pass.
Send me away
To meet our next destination
Where oblivion engulfs them
Whose minds emanate miscellaneous concentration.
Find me a way
Around a languid life lacking inspiration
Swallowed into alienation
Writhing for a breath of emancipation.
Take Me Away 5/15/08
Take me away
Under a moonless night sky
I will follow your touch through depths of dark
Relentless across my fallen pride.
Carry me away
On a little leaf boat
In tedious tiny circles
Around your sandcastle moat.
Pull me away
From the monotonous grasp
Of the strong, shallow forest
Who begs me to pass.
Send me away
To meet our next destination
Where oblivion engulfs them
Whose minds emanate miscellaneous concentration.
Find me a way
Around a languid life lacking inspiration
Swallowed into alienation
Writhing for a breath of emancipation.
Weak
I am rather fond of this poem, bacause it is from a time in which I grew a lot. I dedicate this one to Chris as well, since he helped me grow through this time and he is part of the inspiration for this poem. It is also dedicated to a dragon named D-D... do you remember her, Chris?
Complete Dedication: Chris, D-D, Ed, Andy, and Derek.
Weak 3/4/08
Committed to memory
Wasting away
Deteriorating into unsteady hands
Stumble down the windy road
To return on stronger legs
Not buckling and writhing with steps out the door
Healed by decency
Delayed motion
Thought corruption
Hands and lips still do not fail
To betray their modest destiny
Undying, unchanging for anyone
But he who knows not a gentle touch
Shock blowing up emotion over flowing
Altered picture capturing the moment
Reaction without constraint
Trusting to save, keep fear away
In arms protecting and steady
Willful, soft, luring, yearning
Taken aback from life, renewing
There to save, keep fear away
What is left?
To progress, walk on, stand up
Steady now to waltz in front
Away from misleading rhymes
Above undermining voices
Yet always returning
To forever wait safely there
Complete Dedication: Chris, D-D, Ed, Andy, and Derek.
Weak 3/4/08
Committed to memory
Wasting away
Deteriorating into unsteady hands
Stumble down the windy road
To return on stronger legs
Not buckling and writhing with steps out the door
Healed by decency
Delayed motion
Thought corruption
Hands and lips still do not fail
To betray their modest destiny
Undying, unchanging for anyone
But he who knows not a gentle touch
Shock blowing up emotion over flowing
Altered picture capturing the moment
Reaction without constraint
Trusting to save, keep fear away
In arms protecting and steady
Willful, soft, luring, yearning
Taken aback from life, renewing
There to save, keep fear away
What is left?
To progress, walk on, stand up
Steady now to waltz in front
Away from misleading rhymes
Above undermining voices
Yet always returning
To forever wait safely there
"Standing"
This poem doesnt have a name really... the first line is "standing" so I chose to call it that. It's kind of short and sweet. I feel myself becoming more independent, and I can remember the time where I changed. I began to do things for my own and I began to not need anyone's help, whether or not I led them to believe that I did.
1/30/08
Standing
On my own now
No one there to lean on
Cause I’m standing
Alone now
Can’t you tell what you’re missing
By telling me what you’re saying
Doing;
You know it
I’m disappointed.
Yeah subtle’s not my game
It doesn’t have a name;
To say you don’t understand
Can only be pretty lame.
Whoa I’m spinning
Into it I’m going;
Into you?
Into having a good time;
That’s all you seem to do.
Obviously you too.
You call it “disease”
Oh Please
Even if I were on my knees
You wouldn’t see
It ain’t part of me.
I’m done sharing,
Caring;
What you think or what you say
Can’t get you anywhere
I’m done tolerating;
Tolerating.
That’s it you blew it
Do you know it
Do you know it
I won’t sit for this
‘Cause I’m standing
On my own.
1/30/08
Standing
On my own now
No one there to lean on
Cause I’m standing
Alone now
Can’t you tell what you’re missing
By telling me what you’re saying
Doing;
You know it
I’m disappointed.
Yeah subtle’s not my game
It doesn’t have a name;
To say you don’t understand
Can only be pretty lame.
Whoa I’m spinning
Into it I’m going;
Into you?
Into having a good time;
That’s all you seem to do.
Obviously you too.
You call it “disease”
Oh Please
Even if I were on my knees
You wouldn’t see
It ain’t part of me.
I’m done sharing,
Caring;
What you think or what you say
Can’t get you anywhere
I’m done tolerating;
Tolerating.
That’s it you blew it
Do you know it
Do you know it
I won’t sit for this
‘Cause I’m standing
On my own.
Just Stay This Time
This gives me the same reminiscent feeling as the last poem, but on another note, I can see the evolution structurally from my earlier poems.
Just Stay This Time 11/8/07
Don’t just stand there
In the distance
I need you near
Why don’t you come here?
I can feel you walk away
It’s not easy to forget
My one wish
That you’d stay
Don’t just admire from afar
Away from there
Don’t stop just to stare
But do I know who that is?
I wish I did
I’m only a kid
Will it always,
Be so hard?
Don’t just leave me to think
All I can do is
Look in the mirror
Is there something I’m missing?
My voice stings
The song doesn’t sing
The feelings
That I need it to convey
Don’t forget to give me a chance
Give me a chance
To show you
How much do I really want you?
More then you’d think
Since the way I feel,
Is what I can only hope
You ever feel about me
If you haven’t forgotten
I was there
If you had only spoken
I’d be there
If you still remember
It wasn’t fair
To either of us
Just Stay This Time 11/8/07
Don’t just stand there
In the distance
I need you near
Why don’t you come here?
I can feel you walk away
It’s not easy to forget
My one wish
That you’d stay
Don’t just admire from afar
Away from there
Don’t stop just to stare
But do I know who that is?
I wish I did
I’m only a kid
Will it always,
Be so hard?
Don’t just leave me to think
All I can do is
Look in the mirror
Is there something I’m missing?
My voice stings
The song doesn’t sing
The feelings
That I need it to convey
Don’t forget to give me a chance
Give me a chance
To show you
How much do I really want you?
More then you’d think
Since the way I feel,
Is what I can only hope
You ever feel about me
If you haven’t forgotten
I was there
If you had only spoken
I’d be there
If you still remember
It wasn’t fair
To either of us
The Only Way I Want To
The Only Way I Want To 10/28/07
And I still hold your hand
In mine
I never let go
This made up hope
That you’d dare to stare right back
To have our skin brush
I know I’m not forgotten
Our gaze can never touch
Or am I mistaken?
My thoughts run wild
My mind is always crowded
My eyes see the mirror
They can’t see me
Or what you made me
Only sadness
I can only see eyes
Dull
Glazed
They only shine for you
Look how they shine
For you
He has been here
I see my bed
I see my living room
I see the dining room table
But I only see
He has been here
I’ve been growing weary
Of holding back
I’m letting go
Letting you know
One chance is not enough
I want to just float on
But don’t you worry, I can’t
Carry on
Without you
Longing to feel your embrace
Don’t let me go
I can’t make it on my own
Don’t leave me here alone
And I still hold your hand
In mine
I never let go
This made up hope
That you’d dare to stare right back
To have our skin brush
I know I’m not forgotten
Our gaze can never touch
Or am I mistaken?
My thoughts run wild
My mind is always crowded
My eyes see the mirror
They can’t see me
Or what you made me
Only sadness
I can only see eyes
Dull
Glazed
They only shine for you
Look how they shine
For you
He has been here
I see my bed
I see my living room
I see the dining room table
But I only see
He has been here
I’ve been growing weary
Of holding back
I’m letting go
Letting you know
One chance is not enough
I want to just float on
But don’t you worry, I can’t
Carry on
Without you
Longing to feel your embrace
Don’t let me go
I can’t make it on my own
Don’t leave me here alone
No Turning Back
This poem is about acceptance of time and events. I know a lot of people who approach it differently. People who can't accept that the past is the past, and people who can't accept that other people change, and their feelings change. I also know people who could care less about the past. It's all so strange sometimes.
No Turning Back 8/22/07
Can’t leave my path
The straight track doesn’t turn
Straight to the end
Begging for change
Life is all the same
My name
The association’s gotta go
I can’t know
The future ‘til it’s the past
What’s going on now
Something I don’t know how
To stop
My eyes drop
Whenever you go by
I’m so scared to say hi
I don’t know why
It’s because you
Blame all the things you do
All on me
Though I beg you please
Don’t make me grovel
Understand life’s novel
You can’t change it
You come to hate it
They think it’s overrated
Those thoughts are outdated
No one can save me
Now take heed
Can’t you see?
You’re all I need
There’s no turning back
Just push through
There aren’t re-do’s
We can’t start over
I know it’s over
Let’s make it better
Change it so we never
Hate
Debate
Your life now
I know how
It’ll change
It’s strange
Better the future
Because we can’t turn back
No Turning Back 8/22/07
Can’t leave my path
The straight track doesn’t turn
Straight to the end
Begging for change
Life is all the same
My name
The association’s gotta go
I can’t know
The future ‘til it’s the past
What’s going on now
Something I don’t know how
To stop
My eyes drop
Whenever you go by
I’m so scared to say hi
I don’t know why
It’s because you
Blame all the things you do
All on me
Though I beg you please
Don’t make me grovel
Understand life’s novel
You can’t change it
You come to hate it
They think it’s overrated
Those thoughts are outdated
No one can save me
Now take heed
Can’t you see?
You’re all I need
There’s no turning back
Just push through
There aren’t re-do’s
We can’t start over
I know it’s over
Let’s make it better
Change it so we never
Hate
Debate
Your life now
I know how
It’ll change
It’s strange
Better the future
Because we can’t turn back
Claustrophobia
Claustrophobia 8/22/07
Every life is the same
Every event
In every way
Every person you meet
The player’s on repeat
Stuck in the back seat
Strapped in
The view’s the same anyway
The driver’s drive in circles
Passing those same street signs
Those same landmarks
On the same road
Until you can see what’s coming
Until you know
You can’t leave
Stay one step ahead
Get off the road
Know before even you know
Or stay
In claustrophobia
A consistent plight
All you know is day and night
You see the light
Get out now
Fight
Don’t stay
Sacrifice
It’s yours
It’s worth it
Every life is the same
Every event
In every way
Every person you meet
The player’s on repeat
Stuck in the back seat
Strapped in
The view’s the same anyway
The driver’s drive in circles
Passing those same street signs
Those same landmarks
On the same road
Until you can see what’s coming
Until you know
You can’t leave
Stay one step ahead
Get off the road
Know before even you know
Or stay
In claustrophobia
A consistent plight
All you know is day and night
You see the light
Get out now
Fight
Don’t stay
Sacrifice
It’s yours
It’s worth it
You Replace My Stars
On a lighter note, this poem really makes me happy. The plot of the poem actually has very little to do with the reality of what happened, but imagination can go a long way.
You Replace My Stars 7/21/07
Your heart pounds against the palm of my anxious hand
Gently excited by the feeling of freedom
Walk with me softly
Quietly tread over the dark emerald grass
Fingers laced while swings sway in only the light of the stars
Eyes widened as adrenaline spikes
Looking through the trees expectantly
In a still pond where crickets sing in harmony
Your bright smile’s reflection
Is this what free feels like?
You stand with me not alone
By my side
If you’d always be there
Never could I go home
Your distance is something uncontrolled
You’ve given me your love
Or so I’ve been told
Apparently not if you’re gone
Over me
I thought it was them you chose
And so my dear fate has left me to stand
Alone with the stars who won’t hold my hand
Secretly wishing you’d come along and find me
And with those sweet stars I was ready to part
‘Til an icy rush of blood had shot through my heart
Unrecognizable skin brushed my back
Turning slowly now eye to eye
Relief retuned relaxation
My lips touched yours
What you told me was real
Though my mind overflowing with doubt
Receded now to belief
So let’s lay here forever
Here in each other’s arms
Until morning when we sneak in
To where our freedom’s taken
But stolen back when the sun can’t find us
And we slip out unnoticed again
The stars we follow
Across the street
Across the town
Across the border
Because away from home is our home
There we are free
You Replace My Stars 7/21/07
Your heart pounds against the palm of my anxious hand
Gently excited by the feeling of freedom
Walk with me softly
Quietly tread over the dark emerald grass
Fingers laced while swings sway in only the light of the stars
Eyes widened as adrenaline spikes
Looking through the trees expectantly
In a still pond where crickets sing in harmony
Your bright smile’s reflection
Is this what free feels like?
You stand with me not alone
By my side
If you’d always be there
Never could I go home
Your distance is something uncontrolled
You’ve given me your love
Or so I’ve been told
Apparently not if you’re gone
Over me
I thought it was them you chose
And so my dear fate has left me to stand
Alone with the stars who won’t hold my hand
Secretly wishing you’d come along and find me
And with those sweet stars I was ready to part
‘Til an icy rush of blood had shot through my heart
Unrecognizable skin brushed my back
Turning slowly now eye to eye
Relief retuned relaxation
My lips touched yours
What you told me was real
Though my mind overflowing with doubt
Receded now to belief
So let’s lay here forever
Here in each other’s arms
Until morning when we sneak in
To where our freedom’s taken
But stolen back when the sun can’t find us
And we slip out unnoticed again
The stars we follow
Across the street
Across the town
Across the border
Because away from home is our home
There we are free
What You Mean To Me
Wow. As I reread this poem in Word as I was getting ready to post it, I became scared. I hurt myself by hurting someone else. And I hurt that someone else by almost hurting myself. Being reminded of this time in my life always hits a sore spot, but looking back, I have no regrets. I believe that everything that I have done and gone through in my life has made me the person I am today. I am happy with that person, so I have nothing that I would change.
What You Mean To Me
7/8/07
1:42 am
It’s okay by me if you
Just stab me with
A dull pair of craft scissors.
It’s okay by me if you
Submerge me in water
Then throw in the hair dryer.
It’s okay by me if you
Push me into
A highway of speeding cars.
It’s okay by me if you
Shove tons of pain killers
Deep down into my throat.
It’s okay by me if you
Froze me into
A dark lifeless meat locker
It’s okay by me if you
Strangle me with
My phone charger,
And hang me in
A tree for all to see.
Its okay by me if you kill me
But why don’t you save yourself the effort?
Just look me in the eyes and tell me
You’re disappointed.
What You Mean To Me
7/8/07
1:42 am
It’s okay by me if you
Just stab me with
A dull pair of craft scissors.
It’s okay by me if you
Submerge me in water
Then throw in the hair dryer.
It’s okay by me if you
Push me into
A highway of speeding cars.
It’s okay by me if you
Shove tons of pain killers
Deep down into my throat.
It’s okay by me if you
Froze me into
A dark lifeless meat locker
It’s okay by me if you
Strangle me with
My phone charger,
And hang me in
A tree for all to see.
Its okay by me if you kill me
But why don’t you save yourself the effort?
Just look me in the eyes and tell me
You’re disappointed.
A Fool Can Tell The Difference
This is the second, and longer, poem.
A Fool Can Tell The Difference 6/8/07
The way you looked past me yesterday
Searching distant and far away
Minds churning and wondering
My eyes turned down, worrying
Now I know you know now
And have known
Everyone else does too
But it wasn’t for you, or them
Or for me to do
A subtle knife stalks meticulously from afar
Waiting for its time to approach
You can never rid a lone deep scar
A wish can never make it a mere hoax
Look into a cold closed box
You’ll find it shivering
But from that box I will coax
Another try
A new beginning
Look at me
Look at me now
I could see past your safe-face
If you would only just look at me
Let me just open your book
And write the next few pages
I want to read what came before
I want to know the other side
I want to change what the future holds
Walk a mile
Then see
Why you did what you did to me
I’ll press on back
But unknowing still
Except the second mile was all up hill
If it ended now
It’d all be fine
I see the past was out of line
I see it all
The eternal hall
Host of memory after memory
Good accompanies bad
Don’t look back
Just forget
Forget
Look at me
And I would see
A different fire
So don’t
Don’t let me face that truth
Don’t let me face you
So spin me around
Because my world’s already spinning
Don’t bother trying to stop it
Only I can do it
I don’t know how
But I do know this
My fire’s still the same
No water can put it out
Don’t bother trying to do it
Only I can stop it
I don’t know how
Change is much too foreign
The future holds much change
Those hands hold only the future
Fine grains of the past
Slip through tight fingers
Steadfast in its path
I can still remember yesterday
An image invoking pain
Your look cut into me
Though your solitary look was through me
Look at me
Look at me now
You don’t know who I am
I am
Who wants you to recognize
Softly behind her delicate eyes
Struggling through desperate tries
To find what’s really inside
Knowing only
How to translate your safe-face
If you would only look at me
Forever
There’s a part of me left out
When I was pushed away
The fight to hold on
Thought escaped me
And all composure
Loosing track of your true-face
With that again, you will never look at me
Acquire your needle and thread
For no more tears I will shed
And hide my true-face
A Fool Can Tell The Difference 6/8/07
The way you looked past me yesterday
Searching distant and far away
Minds churning and wondering
My eyes turned down, worrying
Now I know you know now
And have known
Everyone else does too
But it wasn’t for you, or them
Or for me to do
A subtle knife stalks meticulously from afar
Waiting for its time to approach
You can never rid a lone deep scar
A wish can never make it a mere hoax
Look into a cold closed box
You’ll find it shivering
But from that box I will coax
Another try
A new beginning
Look at me
Look at me now
I could see past your safe-face
If you would only just look at me
Let me just open your book
And write the next few pages
I want to read what came before
I want to know the other side
I want to change what the future holds
Walk a mile
Then see
Why you did what you did to me
I’ll press on back
But unknowing still
Except the second mile was all up hill
If it ended now
It’d all be fine
I see the past was out of line
I see it all
The eternal hall
Host of memory after memory
Good accompanies bad
Don’t look back
Just forget
Forget
Look at me
And I would see
A different fire
So don’t
Don’t let me face that truth
Don’t let me face you
So spin me around
Because my world’s already spinning
Don’t bother trying to stop it
Only I can do it
I don’t know how
But I do know this
My fire’s still the same
No water can put it out
Don’t bother trying to do it
Only I can stop it
I don’t know how
Change is much too foreign
The future holds much change
Those hands hold only the future
Fine grains of the past
Slip through tight fingers
Steadfast in its path
I can still remember yesterday
An image invoking pain
Your look cut into me
Though your solitary look was through me
Look at me
Look at me now
You don’t know who I am
I am
Who wants you to recognize
Softly behind her delicate eyes
Struggling through desperate tries
To find what’s really inside
Knowing only
How to translate your safe-face
If you would only look at me
Forever
There’s a part of me left out
When I was pushed away
The fight to hold on
Thought escaped me
And all composure
Loosing track of your true-face
With that again, you will never look at me
Acquire your needle and thread
For no more tears I will shed
And hide my true-face
Hear Me Out
Hear Me Out 6/8/07
I know your past
They do too
Now you resort to those
Who don’t know you
I know what it’s like
To want to get away
For if we stay here
We’ll come to hate tomorrow
And every day
Why don’t we go our separate ways
You seem always in a daze
I can’t be a hypocrite
Pressing on until we reach the summit
To be closer to the sun
To look out at the brilliant stars
Just stare into my eyes
Come out from behind your silly guise
There’s only me and you
It’s only us two
If I wait outside
Sitting on the grass
Will you pull up and take me away?
I’ll sit down
So you can push the pedal to the ground
And we’ll drive ‘til we no longer see
What’s left of who I am
Because it’s not who I want to be
Happiness is a pair of shoes
That doesn’t fit
I can’t find money
So there I sit
Waiting for someone to take me there
To find some I can wear
The best I can do is curl my hair
Yet that never gets me anywhere
But it’s not like you would even care
It’s not like you would listen
Trying harder is no use
It’s just a waste of time
You can’t understand how I need you near
I can’t get your damn ears to hear
I need you to stay
No, don’t run away
Like you always do
I hate that it’s true
Listen to me
I’m living in the past
I’ll move on only knowing you’re the future
But I won’t know
Because you just won’t listen
I’ll just stay here
I’ll just lay here
Waiting
I know your past
They do too
Now you resort to those
Who don’t know you
I know what it’s like
To want to get away
For if we stay here
We’ll come to hate tomorrow
And every day
Why don’t we go our separate ways
You seem always in a daze
I can’t be a hypocrite
Pressing on until we reach the summit
To be closer to the sun
To look out at the brilliant stars
Just stare into my eyes
Come out from behind your silly guise
There’s only me and you
It’s only us two
If I wait outside
Sitting on the grass
Will you pull up and take me away?
I’ll sit down
So you can push the pedal to the ground
And we’ll drive ‘til we no longer see
What’s left of who I am
Because it’s not who I want to be
Happiness is a pair of shoes
That doesn’t fit
I can’t find money
So there I sit
Waiting for someone to take me there
To find some I can wear
The best I can do is curl my hair
Yet that never gets me anywhere
But it’s not like you would even care
It’s not like you would listen
Trying harder is no use
It’s just a waste of time
You can’t understand how I need you near
I can’t get your damn ears to hear
I need you to stay
No, don’t run away
Like you always do
I hate that it’s true
Listen to me
I’m living in the past
I’ll move on only knowing you’re the future
But I won’t know
Because you just won’t listen
I’ll just stay here
I’ll just lay here
Waiting
So Say Goodbye
So Say Goodbye 5/24/07
It’s not worth your time
Quit trying
Hoping
Dreaming
So much out there
So many opportunities
To choose from
But none so appealing
You’d rather be kneeling
Take it from me
It’s only him you see
Don’t hold on anymore
Let go
Let him walk out the door
I could be anything you want
But it’s not me you want
Your arrogance fills your head
Where love can no longer tread
They’re the problem
But you don’t know them
Or how they laugh at you
And everything you do
It’s for their own fun
You’ll realize when they’re done
You’re their satellite
Following day and night
But they destroy you
Like kryptonite
Forget it
Because I won’t save you
You never gave me a reason to
I can only hear sarcasm
Real words became a phantasm
I want to push you away
Though without you my life is so grey
I thought I could never have you
When I found I was wrong
You just proved me right
Will I see another night?
With you?
No.
So I focus on what’s left
I can’t find any good
Falling away
I can’t do what I should
But I finally realize
When I look into those eyes
There isn’t anything I can do
To get through
Can I ask one last favor?
Will you run with me later
Through a highway
Of speeding cars?
Or suffocate me with the gloves I use
To hide all my scars?
Come
Smoke some cigars
We can run away to mars
Once we get there
It’ll be all ours!
But nothing I do can change you
And I’ll do it myself
If you don’t shoot the bullet through
You don’t want another try
Turn your eyes up to the sky
So you don’t start to cry
Though my eyes never dry
When you find out why
I’ve told you one more lie
Because it’s better to die
So say goodbye
It’s not worth your time
Quit trying
Hoping
Dreaming
So much out there
So many opportunities
To choose from
But none so appealing
You’d rather be kneeling
Take it from me
It’s only him you see
Don’t hold on anymore
Let go
Let him walk out the door
I could be anything you want
But it’s not me you want
Your arrogance fills your head
Where love can no longer tread
They’re the problem
But you don’t know them
Or how they laugh at you
And everything you do
It’s for their own fun
You’ll realize when they’re done
You’re their satellite
Following day and night
But they destroy you
Like kryptonite
Forget it
Because I won’t save you
You never gave me a reason to
I can only hear sarcasm
Real words became a phantasm
I want to push you away
Though without you my life is so grey
I thought I could never have you
When I found I was wrong
You just proved me right
Will I see another night?
With you?
No.
So I focus on what’s left
I can’t find any good
Falling away
I can’t do what I should
But I finally realize
When I look into those eyes
There isn’t anything I can do
To get through
Can I ask one last favor?
Will you run with me later
Through a highway
Of speeding cars?
Or suffocate me with the gloves I use
To hide all my scars?
Come
Smoke some cigars
We can run away to mars
Once we get there
It’ll be all ours!
But nothing I do can change you
And I’ll do it myself
If you don’t shoot the bullet through
You don’t want another try
Turn your eyes up to the sky
So you don’t start to cry
Though my eyes never dry
When you find out why
I’ve told you one more lie
Because it’s better to die
So say goodbye
Broken
Broken 5/22/07
He’s quiet
Resistant
Impassionate
The works
She noticed and tried to change it
But for her
It always hurts
To each other it was good
While it lasted
It seems he really cared
It was hard not knowing everything
It seems she’s always scared
Of what the future brings
She knows it’s coming
She can’t fight it
It’s coming and he knows it
He can’t hide it
Forget about it
For now
They’re lost in love
She’s in a maze
It’s great to be there
Despite the worry
Despite his hand
She can’t get hold of
Up there
Still flies the dove
Wings strong
It’s what she’s thinking of
He holds the key in hand
It opens the door
That only he can
He waits longer
For one more chance
All’s stagnant for a while
He thinks without a glance
With him again
She will never dance
Off its path
It lands confused
Dizzy now
You have to choose
He’s there watching
He points and scoffs
The dove looks back
There’s no time
To take off
It’s too late
It’s hit
Its wing’s broken
Blood on the gravel
It’s what he’s hopin’
She lies again
It’s really not fine
Again
Because she did it all the time
Looking back at all the times
He couldn’t tell
That she wouldn’t tell
Looking back when she sees his face
She remembers everything
He’s ever told her
She knows he cried
When it was over
But it’s his fault
She’s no longer sober
He doesn’t care
Or doesn’t want to know
What he did to her inside
With no one else can she confide
Every day she’d rather die
She knows these months were all
A lie
He’s quiet
Resistant
Impassionate
The works
She noticed and tried to change it
But for her
It always hurts
To each other it was good
While it lasted
It seems he really cared
It was hard not knowing everything
It seems she’s always scared
Of what the future brings
She knows it’s coming
She can’t fight it
It’s coming and he knows it
He can’t hide it
Forget about it
For now
They’re lost in love
She’s in a maze
It’s great to be there
Despite the worry
Despite his hand
She can’t get hold of
Up there
Still flies the dove
Wings strong
It’s what she’s thinking of
He holds the key in hand
It opens the door
That only he can
He waits longer
For one more chance
All’s stagnant for a while
He thinks without a glance
With him again
She will never dance
Off its path
It lands confused
Dizzy now
You have to choose
He’s there watching
He points and scoffs
The dove looks back
There’s no time
To take off
It’s too late
It’s hit
Its wing’s broken
Blood on the gravel
It’s what he’s hopin’
She lies again
It’s really not fine
Again
Because she did it all the time
Looking back at all the times
He couldn’t tell
That she wouldn’t tell
Looking back when she sees his face
She remembers everything
He’s ever told her
She knows he cried
When it was over
But it’s his fault
She’s no longer sober
He doesn’t care
Or doesn’t want to know
What he did to her inside
With no one else can she confide
Every day she’d rather die
She knows these months were all
A lie
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Black Flowers 5-15-07
Black Flowers
For a bleeding vase
filled with cold, red water
For the stained, white feathers
covering flightless, broken wings
For those who tried
and thought that time could be fixed with scotch tape
For the one who used to care
wanting the truth
For the one who would have searched forever
wasting what time was left
To the one who gave in
I give you black flowers
For a bleeding vase
filled with cold, red water
For the stained, white feathers
covering flightless, broken wings
For those who tried
and thought that time could be fixed with scotch tape
For the one who used to care
wanting the truth
For the one who would have searched forever
wasting what time was left
To the one who gave in
I give you black flowers
2007 Poems
These poems have a lot of hidden philosophies of mine and the subjects of the poems may vary. I must admit a few of them are very similar, but that can only mean that I am consistent I guess. The basis of all of my poetry is my daily life and the people/situations that I encounter. I can only write about what I know, and my emotions are what inspire me. I hope you enjoy, and if you have any questions about anyhing, feel free to ask.
I was Here 5-16-06
I was in eighth grade at the time, and as always, middle school drama can be found anywhere.
I Was Here
Underneath the stars
Or the pressure
Beyond the horizon
Or the truth
Among the daisies
Or the backstabbing
Behind the waterfall
Or the mask
I Was Here
Underneath the stars
Or the pressure
Beyond the horizon
Or the truth
Among the daisies
Or the backstabbing
Behind the waterfall
Or the mask
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Look in the Mirror
I am going to start off with my favorite poem that I have written to date (today, jan. 20).
I have dedicated this first poem to a good friend of mine, Chris, who has inspired me to be who I really am. He taught me so much more than I ever thought I could learn from someone I met in high school. I just wanted to say thank you. I am a better person because of you.
Here it is ("Look in the Mirror"):
5/17/07
Look in the mirror
You don’t know what you’ll find
There is a whole other world
On the other side
It is a place
Where that part of you can always hide
Don’t lock the windows
Don’t bolt the doors
Look past the hearth
We already know you’re coming
Walk in but don’t look back
It’s the past
It’s upside-down
When you see it from our perspective
Under work
You can’t drown
You won’t be afraid
On the outside
You won’t admit who you are
On the inside
Yet
Just go deeper
Because you haven’t found it
You will
Empty halls echo
But you continue on
Still
Years pass quickly
You’ll find the one you’re looking for
Hereafter
You find one from the past
The children there are overcome
With laughter
Don’t go!
But the sound fades
All the doors too
The walls are empty
All that’s left is you
A tear or two
Splash on the wooden floor
Turn back!
You can’t take it any more
The walls are closing in
The hall is getting thin
You don’t know what to do
But now I see the real you
That’s all we needed
That’s all it needed
The stiff walls crumble
On your way home you won’t stumble
Because you’re already there
Fixing your hair
In front of the mirror
I have dedicated this first poem to a good friend of mine, Chris, who has inspired me to be who I really am. He taught me so much more than I ever thought I could learn from someone I met in high school. I just wanted to say thank you. I am a better person because of you.
Here it is ("Look in the Mirror"):
5/17/07
Look in the mirror
You don’t know what you’ll find
There is a whole other world
On the other side
It is a place
Where that part of you can always hide
Don’t lock the windows
Don’t bolt the doors
Look past the hearth
We already know you’re coming
Walk in but don’t look back
It’s the past
It’s upside-down
When you see it from our perspective
Under work
You can’t drown
You won’t be afraid
On the outside
You won’t admit who you are
On the inside
Yet
Just go deeper
Because you haven’t found it
You will
Empty halls echo
But you continue on
Still
Years pass quickly
You’ll find the one you’re looking for
Hereafter
You find one from the past
The children there are overcome
With laughter
Don’t go!
But the sound fades
All the doors too
The walls are empty
All that’s left is you
A tear or two
Splash on the wooden floor
Turn back!
You can’t take it any more
The walls are closing in
The hall is getting thin
You don’t know what to do
But now I see the real you
That’s all we needed
That’s all it needed
The stiff walls crumble
On your way home you won’t stumble
Because you’re already there
Fixing your hair
In front of the mirror
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